Stop Trying To Be…

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Hello everyone!! Happy TGIF! So happy it’s finally almost the weekend, especially since I’m battling this silly cold. I feel a little bit better today, but still have swollen glands and a stuffy nose and head…but all in all much better than yesterday 🙂

On Friday’s I usually like to keep posts lighthearted and not so heavy, especially since yesterday’s post was more on the serious side. But today when I got home from the gym and caught up on Facebook for a bit, I came across this poem my spin instructor posted on her wall and I just had to share it with you all today…

Stop Trying To Be
Stop trying to be “skinny”
Don’t work to be rich
For all of those things can be gone in a pinch.

Appreciate your beauty and all that is within
For to do anything less is surely a sin

No body’s perfect
Nobody at all…
So love being you…or be nothing at all.
-Keri Murphy

I just love everything about this message. It resonates so much with what I’ve gone through in regards to my body image struggles, past disordered eating, over exercising…all in an effort in trying to be perfect.

I remember one day I woke up, and I just wanted it all to stop. I was done with trying to be perfect, done with trying to be model thin, done with trying to be “fake” happy all the time, done with obsessively counting calories, and done with overexercising to burn “x” amount of calories.  I was completely and utterly tired and exhausted in trying to be, what my mind perceived as, perfect. I learned over the years that there is no perfect, and why should I exhaust myself in trying to be some unrealistic ideal.

Why as women do we put ourselves up on this pedestal and put so many pressures on ourselves. To be the perfect wife/mother/friend/daughter or have the perfect clothes/hair/body etc. Sure I have my days where I fall victim to the comparison trap and compare my life and looks to other women, I think that’s human nature. But when that happens, I instantly remind myself that trying to have that life or trying to have that look, will not bring me happiness. What I have right now in this very moment is pretty spectacular, and I wouldn’t want to trade it with anyone else in the world. I have so many people and blessings in my life to be so thankful and grateful for…my life is my kind of perfect. And what I do know is that what will ultimately bring happiness, is when we all stop trying to be xyz, and start being you 🙂


Hubby wins husband of the year award again for tending to my cranky, sick self yesterday. He went to the grocery store and surprised me with what any under the weather wife needs in that very moment…

It was just what the doctor ordered!

I had my soup with a side salad and then for dessert enjoyed my two Ghirardelli chocolates, dipped in chunky peanut butter too 😉

Since I’m still recovering from my cold, I took it nice and easy at the gym this morning, especially since I’m super sore from that Vipr class I took yesterday – wowza! I just did 30 minutes of light ellipticalling and then a 30 minute walk on the treadmill. Nice and easy 🙂

Yesterday’s overnight oats were so good I knew I’d want them again the next morning, so last night I was sure to remember to prep them and this morning my breakfast was ready and waiting for me…

And tomorrow is my coworkers birthday so I was sure to bring in a cake for us to celebrate…and I decorated it with some cute candles I found at the grocery store…

Yummy!! 🙂

Hope you’re all having a fabulous Friday so far and getting ready to jump right into the weekend, whoo hoo! 🙂

Have you ever had a “stop trying to be…” moment?
If so, what helped you to be yourself?
What’s your favorite flavor of cake?!
Any fun weekend plans?!


21 thoughts on “Stop Trying To Be…

    Andrea @ Andrea out loud! said:
    September 9, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    Cake is my sweetness weakness. I love love love cake, especially ice cream cake of just about any variety 🙂
    And, tomorrow I am going to my first college football game tomorrow! woo hoo!!

      Shayla @ The Good Life responded:
      September 9, 2011 at 5:27 pm

      Ice cream cake is the best, haven’t had it in years!!

      Wow your first college football game?! You will have an absolute BLAST! They are the best football games to go to…nothing compares to the heart and soul college football players give to that game…have fun! 🙂

    Amy said:
    September 9, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    Wow this hit home with me for sure. Having suffered disordered eating, overexercising, and yes trying to be perfect. All for what? To drive my husband and family crazy, watch my health go down the drain, watch my hair fall out in chuncks? Its horrible and I had a wakeup call a month ago while laying in the hospital. Trying yes trying to be perfect is no fun. Overexercising made me miserable at the one thing I love(fitness). Today I practice balance in all aspects of my life and its freeing. Sunday I’m treating myself to a pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks. Something I havened “allowed ” myself to have in years and I will enjoy it. I probably won’t jump the gun and have cake on Monday for my birthday but hey its a start. I’m not trying to be “perfect” anymore. One step at a time.

      Shayla @ The Good Life responded:
      September 9, 2011 at 5:24 pm

      I’m so happy for you in the strides you’ve taken, you’re awesome girl and you should be so proud of yourself! You got this, one step at a time 🙂

    Megan @ foodie cycles said:
    September 9, 2011 at 2:39 pm

    Hello! Just stumbled upon your blog- and I’ve got a lot to relate to 🙂 I think I’m living the “good life” now too! I love cake.. maybe carrot cake would have to be my favorite (because there are carrots in it, soooo I don’t feel so bad eating it! hehehe) I have absolutely had a “stop trying to be” moment, many times, and came to the realization that THIS IS ME! take it or leave it, love it or hate it, (but I love it now). My fun plans for the weekend are a long bike ride, a run, and then Pet Rock Festival in town on Sunday with my Pooch!

      Shayla @ The Good Life responded:
      September 9, 2011 at 5:22 pm

      Hi Megan and thank you for stopping by!! 🙂

      Carrot cake is the best, especially like you said since you’re getting in some veggies 😉 And I love it for the cream cheese frosting!!

      And I love your motto “This is me. Take it or leave it. Love it or hate it.” Awesome, love that! Sounds like great weekend plans too, have fun!

    oneloverun said:
    September 9, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    I’ve never been a cake person until I had my wedding cake. Now I won’t eat other cake because nothing quite lives up to it, but my favor flavor comes from it … amaretto poppyseed. Yum! The other flavors we had were ultimate coconut (even coconut haters loved it) and bailey’s irish cream.

    If you have any friends getting married in SD, refer them to me so I can refer them to the best cake around. And then make them take me cake tasting with them so I can have it again!

      Shayla @ The Good Life responded:
      September 9, 2011 at 5:20 pm

      Love wedding cake!! And I’m biased with ours too, it was the best! 😉 And amaretto poppyseed sounds insanely delish, wow!

      I will definitely refer them to you…in fact my hubby’s assistant lacrosse coach is getting married next year at our same spot, Paradise Point! Where do you recommend? We got ours at The French Gourmet! 🙂

        oneloverun said:
        September 11, 2011 at 3:59 pm

        Shirley Resnick the Cake Lady! She does all of her tasting out of her trailer home in El Cajon, it is the best cake I’ve ever tasted and she is the sweetest lady ever. She uses fruit from her back yard to use in her cake and is very generous during her tastings! Her prices are also very reasonable, but she books up fast!

        Shayla @ The Good Life responded:
        September 12, 2011 at 12:08 pm

        Wow I just checked out her website, her cakes are amazing!! Absolutely gorgeous! Now I wish we had gotten her, ha! 🙂

        Thanks for the recommendation, I’ll be sure to let my friends know of her 🙂

    Tina @ Faith Fitness Fun said:
    September 10, 2011 at 5:13 pm

    Oh my gosh! That really is the best little poem. So much truth in something so short.

    peacebeme said:
    September 10, 2011 at 6:17 pm

    I am definitely on the verge of that “stop trying to be…” moment! I have always felt when I achieved that before, I have felt totally sexier and better about my body. It just comes with the peaceful feeling. Thanks for inspiring me today!

    sarahsmodernbites said:
    September 10, 2011 at 7:27 pm

    I think my ‘stop trying to be moment’ has been a gradual change… I lived for years striving for ‘perfection’… I was so hard on myself. I cared what everyone around me thought. Now, I have no shame! haha I think seeing everyone else around me ‘live’ and me not moving forward was a big eye opener. Suddenly, my world changed when I took the reigns and stopped being so hard on myself. Letting myself get out of my comfort zone was HUGE. Like going out more often, not blowing off plans and being more lenient. I started living in the NOW. (Living in the Now is a great book by the way!)

    LOVELOVE carrot cake!!! With super cold, dense cream cheese frosting (the best part!) Secon would be Italian rum cake because, well, the rum really makes it 😉

    Andrew is away for a wedding all weekend so besides the wine tour I gave today I am relaxing (and shoppng!)

    What a sweet Husband you have! I hope you’re feeling MUCH better! ❤

      Shayla @ The Good Life responded:
      September 12, 2011 at 9:12 am

      I love your comments Sarah and I love everything you said here and can totally relate. I’ve had many moments of needing to break out of my comfort zone, especially going out more and meeting new people, that was a huge step for me and I credit the hubby for getting me to break out of my shell! 🙂 I’ll have to look into that book too, thanks for the recommendation!

      Yes carrot cake is the best! And I hope you had fun on your wine tour, sounds like a blast! I already can’t wait for this weekend to come! 🙂

    Greta said:
    September 10, 2011 at 10:54 pm

    Hello. I have been following your blog for quite a while. I love your intelligence, straight forwardness and honesty that you share out here.
    This post have touched me so deeply. Not so long ago I had thought that my life’s mission was to be perfect, or at least strive to the most perfection. Wrong!
    My “stop trying to be” moment was tiredness. I was so exhausted of life that I saw absolutely no joy in things.
    So making small steps at a time I’m learning how to be me once again.

      Shayla @ The Good Life responded:
      September 12, 2011 at 9:19 am

      Thank you Greta for such a sweet comment, I really appreciate it and thank you for stopping by!! 🙂

      I agree with the tiredness part – when your energy and excitement for life starts to drain right out of you, that’s when you know to make a change. Life is too short! I’m so happy for you in that you realized it was time for you to start living and to be you again 🙂

    Sherri said:
    September 11, 2011 at 3:41 pm

    To those of you who are struggling with trying to be perfect.

    The important people in your life who you strive to be perfect for, see you as perfect the way you are because they love you so much. Let these special people help you believe in yourself and true happiness will follow.

    Weekend Recap | The Good Life said:
    September 12, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    […] refreshed from your weekend! First I want to say how much I enjoyed your responses to my “Stop Trying To Be” post – you ladies are all so fabulous and we’re all finding that joy in being […]

    Facing Fear Foods | The Good Life said:
    October 25, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    […] to my disordered eating struggles that I’ve wanted to talk about with you all – from trying to be perfect, to restricting and binging, to obsessive calorie counting, to over exercising, to using wine to […]

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